Where do i go from here ?

So I find myself at this feeling alot more and more each day amd it always leads to this question that I've never seemed to answer. How do you let someone go when deep dwon you can't? He has been gone for 9 years and it still hurts as if it just happened. My cousin and I share the same pain we both lost a parent at a very young age and even though people say that its going to be ok and over time the pain won't be so bad it doesn't help. I mean sure its not stopping me from going to school and enjoying life but at the same time I feel empty.Its like when my dad died it took like half of my heart and no one can fill the space. I write alot so I guess that helps a little but not alot. Some people can read me and know if im hiding my real emotion or not. I hide from my mom because some parents don't know how to help their children deal with something if they haven't been in their shoes. On March 2,2010 I will be 17 and still feeling this pain that will never go away. It sucks I mean like when I turn 18 he won't be there when I graduate he won't be there. So tell me where do I go from here?